This has been a though week in my household. Someone that I love very much ended up in the hospital in critical condition from an accidental fall, and we (I) did not think that she would make it. Neither did a lot of other people including the doctors. But, it was a chance for a miracle. After falling, striking her head, breaking a bone in the side of her face, having a heart attack, vomiting and aspirating the vomit down into her lungs, she laid for two days before she was found (Yes, I said two days), and was brought into ER barely breathing. I truly thought we had lost this precious soul, but God had other plans. Not only is she alive and well, there don’t seem to be any/many aftereffects from this trauma.
At the same time, another precious person was brought into the hospital with pain from a fall. They could not control the pain, found a rare form of cancer that was untreatable, and three days later, he died. I thought he would live, but God had other plans.
During times of trauma, people are not always their nicest. When asked at the hospital “what are you doing here?” by someone I had been at odds with in the past, I did not react with patience and grace. I snapped. When told that a loved soul would die, I wanted answers. It was not my place to ask.
Life is not about me.
See, my brain knows that God is in control and that all things happen for a reason, but sometimes my heart forgets.
When another family member performs her extremely well-practiced control maneuver, I strike back in anger; and I strike hard… the ugliness of life rears its nasty head.
When I don’t understand, Ugly shows up.
When I want my own way, Ugly shows up.
Ugly is another word for sin; and sin is my constant companion in this life. Instead of looking outward toward the world, I need to look inward to keep this in check. It’s what Jesus wants. It’s what he died for. I can never forget this.
~Until next time,
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