Insecurity. Life altering, crippling insecurity. People often try to build up their own self-esteem by doing things for others, often more than they do for themselves. They mistakenly feel that if they do more, then they will be loved. The honest truth is that genuine love can’t be bought. It is a blessing, a gift from God that enriches our lives and teaches us about Him. We cannot earn it. It is a gift.
But what is the effect of working ourselves to buy love and respect? First, the more a person tries to earn the love of others, then the harder they have to work to satisfy that insecure feeling inside. So, they work more, to earn more, to feel better – around and around we go. And what has happened in my own life is that my insecure person ends up taking things away from others, so that they may themselves feel better. The things that they were doing were not enough so they ended up taking away from others. It has crossed over into bullying sometimes. The truth is that you can never work hard enough or do enough to make these insecure feelings go away. They will forever be inside of you, growing and festering until you learn to deal with them.
And what is the cost? Relationships. This kind of thinking kills any love that may have been earned. It is hurtful and painful to the person that is having important things constantly taken away from them so that someone else can feel better about themselves. We tell ourselves that it is no big deal, the other person needs this more than I do, this person is broken inside, turn the other cheek—but when this kind of behavior goes on year after year, or in my case, decade after decade, it does some serious damage.
The Bible addresses this in 1 Corinthians 12:21
Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
We are all part of the body of Christ, if not another family here on earth. For one member to put down, trash, or push aside another member is telling that person that they are not important, and they have no value. To devalue another human being is not what Christ taught us. It is not why He came here to die. We should not put one another down and try to take their self-worth so that we can feel better about ourselves. Rather, look to God for your value, not man. God is the giver of all things, including self-value, self-esteem, and our true value and worth. If you need a purpose in life, look to God for the answers, not by trying to earn in with your fellow man and family.
Until next time:
Peace to you and yours,
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