Category: Personality

Passive-Aggressive Christians

2/1/2016

Passive-Aggressive personality traits are one of my least favorite things in life. We all know the type. They will promise anything to your face, and then just not do it. Or, worse yet, stab you in the back when you are not looking.

~*~

So, (insert friend's name here), can I borrow that thing to help me out. You said you're not using it right now.

Friend: Yeah, sure. No problem. I'll bring it by tonight after work.

Nothing. Or, after you turn your back, "there's no way I'd loan any of my stuff to them ever again. They can't be trusted to blow their own nose."

See you tonight!

~*~

How may times have we seen this? How many times have we done this?

And how many times has God been patient with us for the same behavior.

"I promise to go to church more."

"I promise to tithe more."

"I promise to stop lying to myself and to you, Father."

Ouch! It would be better to not promise anything that we have no intentions of doing...

or...

Make an effort to change. Just one thing at a time. Examine your life and determine where your own personal faults lie. We all have them, and they are different for almost everyone. It's a new year now. Time for a new start.

And while I'm thinking about it, I have a few things to loan out to some friends.

Until next time:
Peace to you and yours,

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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com/Jesus-is-my-life-coach

Jesus is my Life Coach!
http://www.sinclairinkspot.com/jesus-is-my-life-coach

The Female Narcissist..

9/11/2014

Ok, I just found this video and had to share it. I have seen the light!!! This video about human behavior will tell you just how far the enemy can drag you down, and drag you away from others. Jesus' command is to live one another. This perfect example of human behavior is exactly the opposite. Check it out!!! It will change the way you see those closest to you.

There will be more to come on this subject, as this is a series of videos on You Tube. If you want to investigate further, check out Melanie Tonya Evan from Australia!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJP0FUk6oWY

~Until next time,

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Tweet me @LorettaLea
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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Pride...

9/6/2014

Do you struggle to keep the balance between pride and humility?

I do.

Our society teaches us to boast our every success. Social media is flooded with shout outs for the things we have done. As authors we are told to market ourselves, get our name out there, make our mark in the industry.

But we must maintain a humble heart before the Lord.

So how does that work?

“I am excited about what I have done—but it takes nothing away from what you have done. And I am no better than you in anyway.”

Is it just me, or is that completely insincere and rather nauseating?

I have to hold every thought captive. Analyze it. Is it about me, or am I pointing others to Christ? Is this for my glory or His? These are tough questions and I often dread the answers.

Because I suffer from pride.

How do you stay humble?

From Guest Blogger:
Michelle Janene
www.turretwriting.com

~Until next time,

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Tweet me @LorettaLea
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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Persecutors...

9/6/2014

I’ve actually gotten into trouble for laughing too loud at work.

When given my 15 year service award, the manager said “I don’t think she’s ever had a bad day.”

Yet there are those who make it their mission in life to tear me down.

Our lesson at church this week was “take up your cross and follow me”. For a long time I struggled to know what that meant. You see, I’ve always had it in my head that to “take up the cross” meant that you had to leave… go be a missionary in another country… move across the world… in some way physically leave the life you had in order to begin a new one with Christ as the center. Turns out that’s not necessarily true; you can take up your cross right where you are. They key is to put Christ as the center of it all.

My cross is to keep my joy and happiness in the face of those that cannot. When others try to tear me down due to their own unhappiness and insecurity, I keep my spirit of peace. When they try to transfer onto me those attributes that they are not willing to/ or capable of letting go of, I shower blessings on them. My happiness is a choice. My choice, not theirs. As soon as you realize that they truly have no control, life takes on a whole new meaning.

Their insecurity, their hatred, their fear, their control, is all their journey - not yours. Never expect anyone else to validate your value. They can't. They can only see the limits of what their own baggage allows them to see.baggage

“Love thy neighbor. Pray for your enemies. Love, as I have loved you.”

My cross is to love those that cannot love me. The reasons and excuses for their hatred and fear don’t really matter anymore. My cross is to show Christ’s light to a screwed up world, in my own back yard - and keep my happiness doing it. And only then, can they see the true light that shines for the world to see.

~Until next time,

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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

The Un-Perfectionist

8/21/2014

The Un-Perfectionist. This type of person knows that they are not perfect, and praise God that they don't have to be. They relish in their own forgiveness and the love of God...

however...

They expect complete and total perfection from those around them. There is no excuse for others not to live up to their standards. They set the bar so high that there is no way on earth that anyone can live up to it. They forever let you know that you are not measuring up.

This is not a new problem. Jesus said:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Why do we hold others to a higher level of responsibility than we hold ourselves?

Judgementalism. A dangerous place to be my friends.

"Judgement is MINE says the Lord."

If you can learn to let go of our own expectations of others, and focus on God, life will be a lot more calm and peaceful for everyone.

~Until next time,

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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Overcoming Insecurity...

8/20/2014

I'm not good enough.
I can't do it.
Everybody hates me.

It's not enough that the world beats us down at every turn, but we have to keep up the fight, and continue to beat ourselves up when everyone else is done.

I'm a failure.
I can't do anything right.

Or, the expectations that we put on ourselves when we compare ourselves to others.

I can't make it on my own.
I'm afraid to be alone.
I don't make as much money as she does.
I have to show the world that I am better.

Better = more, bigger, better, nicer, more expensive, MORE.

So how do you let go of those feelings that cripple you. I've heard people say "Just get over it." That seems a bit cruel. These feelings go down deep and shake the very core of who you are. If it was that simple, there would be no problems.

The answer is a little deeper. Christ shows us in his life. You see, His purpose for coming here to earth was not about Him. "The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve others." He wasn't put first. It was about us. He wasn't thinking of His own accomplishments, He put others before Himself. We have to learn to take ourselves out of the mix. I will repeat the opening line in one of my favorite books, The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. "It's not about you."

If we can stop dwelling on all of our failures and downfalls, then we can start to get past them. Don't think about how you see yourself, or how others see you. Think about how Christ sees you. Life will take on a whole new meaning.

If we can stop seeing ourselves through the judgmental eyes of others, then we can truly begin to see what our real value is. Because, truthfully, all insecurity really is, is the judgment of others imposed on us. Judgment is God's and God's alone. People have NO RIGHT to do that to each other.

Christ came to live (and die) for us. If you can turn things around and live for Him, then you will find true value and purpose in your life.

Pick up a copy of this book. It will change your life. (No, I get no kick-backs - but I wish I did!)

The Purpose Driven Life. by Rick Warren

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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Changing Relationships...

8/14/2014

How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

Change?!?!?!?!?! (scared face)

Change is scary, for a lot of people and for a lot of reasons - especially in relationships. The truth is that some people just refuse to change, and would rather sacrifice a relationship rather than face the change that is required to make it work.

And here's the clencher. Some people are simply not capable of change. It's not that they won't, they just can't.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But it takes a long time, costs a lot of money, and the light bulb has to want to change.

Change comes from the inside. If the party involved either won't or can't, there's nothing you can do to make that happen. The best and most important step at that point, is prayer. Ask God to do the impossible. Ask Him to intervene and do the things that you cannot. Ask God for a miracle. Then sit back and see what happens. Understanding that the answer might not be Yes. Sometimes you have to walk away. And that walking away is for a reason. That reason always should be to glorify God. If you are being held back, held down, prevented from being all you can be, then it's time to shake the dust from your feet and move forward.

Christ came to change the world - to shake it up and give us a new perspective. I, for one, will not be stuck in the same old rut that I have been for decades. It's time to spread my wings and fly to heights that I have only dreamed of so far. I will miss those that get left behind, but they have the choice of coming along with me on this journey called life.

Change is not always bad. Just different.

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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

So why is being a People Pleaser bad?

8/7/2014

Because there's never enough. It's like trying to earn your way into heaven. It can't be done.

Once you start out chasing after people to please them day in and day out, the bar is continuously raised. Like an alcoholic or drug addict, it continuously takes more and more to please the other person. What pleased them yesterday becomes the standard for today. Tomorrow it will take even more.

And more.

And more.

When is enough, enough? At what point have we all lost control.

And when you are busy pleasing the snot out of one person, how many others are being neglected in the background.

Enough is enough when we crave the attention and love of other people more than we crave the attention and love of God. At that point everything we know to be true goes right into the toilet.

God craves our attention and love. He is all we will ever need. If we can just focus everything on Him, then everything else will fall into place.

Where have you looked to try to find value and self-worth?
Buying things?
Giving things away?
Wrong choices in love?
Chasing others?

God held nothing back for you, even sending his own Son to die for you. Let's not waste that trying to please all the people round us.

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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Insecurity + People Pleasers = Toxic

8/7/2014

We've heard it said often "so-and-so would never have gotten into trouble if they had not met so-and-so." Or, "That person is a bad influence on you." "Go hang out with them, they are a good influence on you." Or, "that's funny, they don't act like that around me!"

What is a People Pleaser other than someone who is trying to gain control of their own emotions and self-worth? - but by doing it through another person. (aka: co-dependence) They need another person to make them feel whole inside.

Peer pressure can be a powerful thing, and it can work both ways - for good and for bad.
I seem to have an abundance of insecure people in my life. Not just a little insecure, but life-altering, crippling insecurity - to the point where they make really bad decisions regarding other people. (Yes, sometimes me). I have never understood this type of behavior. But some things that I have noticed are these:

1. You cannot control your fears (and that's where insecurity stems from) by controlling other people. It does not work, and inevitably ends up alienating those around you.

2. If you have really low self-esteem, the quickest way to build yourself up is by knocking someone else down. And while this may make you feel good temporarily, it makes the other person feel like crap - and in the long run will cause separation.

These people often feel like they are in hell, or living hell. I wonder how much truth there is to that.

Hell is defined as separation from God. And since God is in ultimate control, when we try to wrestle that away from Him, are we not separating ourselves from Him? - in essence creating our own hell.

The only person we should be trying to please is God.
Control is an illusion.
When you care more about yourself than others, no matter how you try to justify it, you are being selfish - and selfishness will get you nothing but hell.

Learn to let go.
Let go of the fear and insecurity.
Let go of the control.
Let go of your own expectations of life, and seek what God's expectations are.
Only there will you find true peace and comfort.

Love thy neighbor. Don't put them down or tell them what to do. Let God be in charge of them.

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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

People Pairings...

8/2/2014

In the next few weeks we will explore the different types of personalities, and what happens when different types get together. Pairings can be either good, or bad, sometimes toxically bad. This can be called co-dependency; others have fancier names for it. For me, I like to break it down into simpler terminology:

The Needy
The Insecure
The Dominant
The Punisher
The Selfish
The Selfless
The Self-Righteous
The Right (as in I am never wrong)
The Givers
The Takers
The Confident
The Jokesters (life is a game)
The Worriers
The Afraid
The Ill (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually)
and the rest.

It was very enlightening to me when I realized that some people live their entire lives in complete fear, bordering on terror - every single day - all day. They know no peace at all, and never have. Life is a complete struggle.

There are those that take no one, and nothing seriously. Life is a game, and you are a pawn. Anything for a laugh - even if it is at someone else's expense. As long as they are laughing, that's all that matters.

Others stay up nights worrying, plotting, arguing, fighting... the list is endless.

What are you, and who do you attract? Why? What do people see in you that draws them to you (or away).

What combinations are good, and what combinations have the potential to go really bad.
And what to do about it when things do go south. Are there answers, and is there a way back? The answer is yes. But it takes commitment on both parts to make it better.

Let's see what the Bible tells us about our fellow man, and how we can maneuver around what we have done with our lives.

Join me for what promises to be a lively discussion.

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Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!