Category: People

Conflict or Chaos?

2/17/2019

Conflict in life is inevitable. We are not robots. God did that on purpose. He did not want to create people pre-preprogrammed to follow Him. What would be the point? He gave us all free-will to decide whether or not to follow hIm. And with that free will, comes conflict.

Jesus said, "in this life you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world. (John 16:32-33)

We have to recognize that we are all made differently. Each of us is wired for a specific purpose in life. We have different callings, different likes and dislikes, and different taste levels and talents. Respect for each other can go a long way to establish a mutual working or living relationship. Our spiritual gifting is for a specific purpose. No two people's calling in life is the same. Since each person's gifting is different and unique, to insult, demean, put down, or otherwise create conflict for each other is wrong.

That being said, conflict does not have to be chaos. There are people in this world that thrive on chaos. By throwing any given situation into utter and complete turmoil, they can effectively take the focus off the real problem and/or themselves, and twist everything around to make it something it is not. Someone in my life does this with practiced expertise. I have said for many years, (this person) can stir up a complete poop storm for everyone around them, and then walk away smelling like a rose. We all know someone like that. Their purpose is not to help or encourage. It is to knock you off your track so they can feel better. In many cases it all boils down to insecurity.

Conflict in life is going to happen. But good, strong, solid boundaries can keep the situation from deteriorating into a mess. We are all created in the image of God. We are created for a purpose, and allowing someone else to hijack that purpose by swirling chaos around you to make you lose your focus.

My grandfather's favorite words from the Bible are very applicable in this case.

"Fight the good fight. Finish the race. Keep the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7)

Fight the good fight. That means playing fair, and keeping the other person's feelings in mind when the conflict is in process. Establish rules of consideration and fairness--and stick to them. Insist that the other people stick to them too.

Conflict is inevitable. Chaos is optional.

Thanks Grandpa. I'll see you in Heaven.

Until next time:
Peace to you and yours,

Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc #Sinclair
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com/Jesus-is-my-life-coach

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Why Does a Good God Allow Hurt in the World?

12/31/2018

So, why does a good God allow bad things to happen?

That's a really good question. And I'm sure there are a lot of good answers.

So you can then help someone else going through the same thing.

To bring you closer to God.

To remove the bad influences that we do not see from our lives.

Because God gave us the gift of free will. And just like we have free will to choose good, so do we all have the same free will to choose bad. And unfortunately that bad often impacts others.

There are any number of good answers to this question. And it was one that I had not completely pondered, until, it happened to me.

I am a very contented person. I am happy in my own skin and have been since I became a Christian. I live modestly and am happy in my job. There isn't much that I really stress over on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong. Life has not been perfect by any means. There have been money issues, job layoffs, and an unexpected divorce. But through it all God has been my rock. I am happy being His child, and trying to find my purpose in this life. That is until that day.

It was a betrayal of both mind and body. Someone who was very close to me did the unthinkable. Someone who should have never hurt me, did. Someone who was supposed to love me more than anyone else, hurt me more than I ever thought possible. They deceived not only me, but all of those closest to me as well. Why? I still don't know. But it threw me. It threw me so badly that two years later I am still wrestling with the feelings of utter betrayal, hurt, deceit, and the lies that this person spun.

For most of these two years I have struggled with 'Why'? Why me? What have I ever done to deserve this?

The fact is that many times we do not deserve the bad things that happen. They just do. People like to quote the verse "All things work together for God's Good." And while that may be so, sometimes it is hard to hear when you are hurting deeply. You don't really care what the reasons are, you just want the hurt to stop.

But I also know that in order to lead people to God, you have to go and meet them where they are. And if that is a place of hurt and pain, then you must go down into the depths of pain to meet them and lead them out. Okay, but if you are someone like me who has been pretty happy my whole life, and content with everything that has been thrown at me, how do I do that? I had to learn what that hurt and pain felt like. I had to feel the stabbing in my heart that I had to relive day after day. I had to deal with the humiliation of the lies that were spun, so that I could address it with someone else. I had to go down into the dank darkness of the pit if despair so that I would know how to get back out. I had to find God again in the bleak areas of life, so that I could show others how to do it. I had to learn how to grow in Christ no matter what. I had to be broken. And I was.

I tried to envision what our Lord went through when he was betrayed and crucified. How did He get past the hurt and be able to forgive what they had done to Him. How could He look at Judas with love and compassion knowing what he would do? He didn't deserve what happened to Him, but it still did. And that is what saved us all.

So now I can add to my list of accolades that I have been absolutely and utterly broken. I have been betrayed and deserted. I have been left for the wolves to devour, but they didn't. They didn't because God was there the whole time watching over me. He showed me how to forgive and have compassion on those that have hurt me. He led me back out of the pit so now I know my way. I am uniquely prepared to lead others out from this same pit. And I am no longer afraid of the blackness-for it is in this absolute darkness that the light of Jesus will shine the brightest.

Don't despair the hurt. Greater things lay behind it.

Until next time:
Peace to you and yours,

Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc #Sinclair
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com/Jesus-is-my-life-coach

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Mementos of Murder

11/6/2018

One thing that most rapists and serial killers have in common is collecting mementos. From each crime scene and victim the criminal will take a personal item from the scene. It is a trophy; something to remind he or she vividly of the activity that transpired. It is not about the piece of jewelry or the article of clothing. It is about the crime. Many police report that they will take only part of something. One piece of a clothing set, one earring, one cufflink. Their purpose is not just to take one item, but to ruin the piece that is left. In a way they are reminding you that you are ruined too. That item will never be the same again, and neither will you. It is a way to relive the power and control of the situation time and time again, long after the crime has been committed. It is a means of controlling the high that person felt while they were in complete power.

Extreme controllers will do that too. They will take something they don't necessarily want or need. They want it for no other reason than someone else wants it. Their purpose isn't in having the item, it is in the taking of it. The pride isn't in owning it, but the knowledge of who they took it away from. It is a memento of murder. The relationship that was murdered in the taking of that memento.

As Christians we need to remember several things. First, these items are only things. Yes, it may be a reminder of a departed loved one, but that's all it is. Just a reminder. What was taken from you was not the person, just the reminder.

Second, it is only stuff. An old pastor that I had used to say, "I've never seen a hearse with a U-Haul (TM)." Down here we need to love people, not stuff. We can enjoy stuff. We can use the stuff that makes our lives easier. There is no doubt that we will accumulate stuff, but at the end of the day it is just stuff. After you are gone someone will come through your house and throw out most of your stuff, taking only the mementos they want to keep.

Third, pray for these people. Pray hard and pray often. Their priorities are screwed up. They place a higher value in things than in people. Hurting another person is just no big deal to them. They live in an isolated and lonely world with their trophies of murdered relationships. This isolation and loneliness leads them to further control, and more damaged relationships.

Lastly, we need to keep in mind that these people who are wielding control and power like a weapon, are deeply hurting and flawed individuals. Hurt people hurt other people. I wonder if they even realize the damage they are doing when they do it. I flip back and forth on that one. One side of me thinks they thrive on the power and control of taking and hurting someone else, while the other side of me thinks they are so wrapped up in their own pain they are incapable of seeing anyone or anything else but their own pain. I suppose that could go either way.

We should be collectors too. Collectors of souls for God. When we run across people like this, it is our Christian duty to use every tool in our arsenal to show this person God's love and forgiveness. Yes, they hurt you. Sometimes deeply. Sometimes irreparably, at least by human standards. But God is not human. God specializes in the impossible. He craves you coming to Him and asking (begging) for help.

The most powerful tools we have are love and prayer. Let's wield them without mercy in our efforts to lead these deeply hurting people to Christ.

Until next time:
Peace to you and yours,

Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc #Sinclair
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com/Jesus-is-my-life-coach

Toxic People. Good Quote.

10/29/2016

From Bishop Dale C Bronner.

Think it.
Dream it.
Do it.
And encourage each other on the way.

Until next time:
Peace to you and yours,
#BibleComesAlive

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Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc #Sinclair
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com/Jesus-is-my-life-coach

Jesus is my Life Coach!
http://www.sinclairinkspot.com/jesus-is-my-life-coach

Hatred is de-humanizing...

4/27/2016

What's the fastest way to hate someone? Don't see them as a person.

We see this over and over again throughout history. The Nazi's in WWII thought the Jews were less than human, so it was okay to wipe them out. Building up to the American Civil War, Negroes were thought to be more animal than human. It was okay to enslave and abuse them. The slave owners couldn't have had it more wrong.

We see it today too. From the radical religious groups to high school campuses, hatred runs free, and it all starts with the first step, de-humanizing a person.

How many times have you heard something like this. "Look at her. She thinks she's so hot. She's such a b*(&^%."

So now the person is no longer a person, she is just a b*(&^%, so it is okay to hate since they are not a real person anyway. Once you slap a label on someone, they become that label and cease being a person in many people's minds.

How do we prevent this. Stop labeling others to start with. No matter what you think of another person, they are still a human being, and deserve to be treated as such. And just like you may dislike some of the things that they do, they most likely dislike what you do too. Remember:

What comes around, goes around;
What you sow, so shall you reap;
karma's a b*(&^%.

And most important, Jesus came to die for all, not just the ones He liked.

Until next time:
Peace to you and yours,

Have this blog delivered right to your Kindle!

Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc #Sinclair
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com
http://www.SinclairInkSpot.com/Jesus-is-my-life-coach

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Shadow People...

9/7/2014

Growing up in someone else’s shadow can be either a good thing, or a bad thing, depending on the one who is casting that shadow. Typically these people are larger than life, famous, or sometimes infamous. Loved, or hated, they are unforgettable.

What happens to the one growing up? They are never seen for who and what they really are. They can be punished for the sins of the elder person, judged for what the other person has done, and even hated for the other person’s wrongs. Or, held up to a standard that can never be achieved. Was that Shadow bearer loved, or hated? Is that view of you constraining you from being who you really are?

The fact is that we are all individuals. Christ said “even the very hairs on your head are numbered.” We are all “knit together in our mother’s womb” individual and created for a purpose. When we are held up against another person like a measuring stick, there is no way we will ever measure up. God is the one who decides if we have accomplished our purpose here.

What I’ve discovered, after a lifetime of this treatment, is when people see me through the filter of someone else, it doesn’t really have a lot to do with me, but more of how that person made them feel.

Are people trying to control me to control the hatred they feel for them?

Forgiveness is the key. Yes, people do wrong - we are not perfect. Yes, there is control and manipulation in the world, but projecting that hurt and pain onto another innocent person is just as wrong. Each person should be seen for the individual that God made them, living up to their own unique purpose and fulfilling their own destiny.

There’s only one shadow I want to grow up in… the shadow and protection of the One and Only, Living God.

~Until next time,

Have this blog delivered right to your Kindle!

Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Persecutors...

9/6/2014

I’ve actually gotten into trouble for laughing too loud at work.

When given my 15 year service award, the manager said “I don’t think she’s ever had a bad day.”

Yet there are those who make it their mission in life to tear me down.

Our lesson at church this week was “take up your cross and follow me”. For a long time I struggled to know what that meant. You see, I’ve always had it in my head that to “take up the cross” meant that you had to leave… go be a missionary in another country… move across the world… in some way physically leave the life you had in order to begin a new one with Christ as the center. Turns out that’s not necessarily true; you can take up your cross right where you are. They key is to put Christ as the center of it all.

My cross is to keep my joy and happiness in the face of those that cannot. When others try to tear me down due to their own unhappiness and insecurity, I keep my spirit of peace. When they try to transfer onto me those attributes that they are not willing to/ or capable of letting go of, I shower blessings on them. My happiness is a choice. My choice, not theirs. As soon as you realize that they truly have no control, life takes on a whole new meaning.

Their insecurity, their hatred, their fear, their control, is all their journey - not yours. Never expect anyone else to validate your value. They can't. They can only see the limits of what their own baggage allows them to see.baggage

“Love thy neighbor. Pray for your enemies. Love, as I have loved you.”

My cross is to love those that cannot love me. The reasons and excuses for their hatred and fear don’t really matter anymore. My cross is to show Christ’s light to a screwed up world, in my own back yard - and keep my happiness doing it. And only then, can they see the true light that shines for the world to see.

~Until next time,

Have this blog delivered right to your Kindle!

Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
Sinclair Publishing
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

The Un-Perfectionist

8/21/2014

The Un-Perfectionist. This type of person knows that they are not perfect, and praise God that they don't have to be. They relish in their own forgiveness and the love of God...

however...

They expect complete and total perfection from those around them. There is no excuse for others not to live up to their standards. They set the bar so high that there is no way on earth that anyone can live up to it. They forever let you know that you are not measuring up.

This is not a new problem. Jesus said:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Why do we hold others to a higher level of responsibility than we hold ourselves?

Judgementalism. A dangerous place to be my friends.

"Judgement is MINE says the Lord."

If you can learn to let go of our own expectations of others, and focus on God, life will be a lot more calm and peaceful for everyone.

~Until next time,

Have this blog delivered right to your Kindle!

Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Overcoming Insecurity...

8/20/2014

I'm not good enough.
I can't do it.
Everybody hates me.

It's not enough that the world beats us down at every turn, but we have to keep up the fight, and continue to beat ourselves up when everyone else is done.

I'm a failure.
I can't do anything right.

Or, the expectations that we put on ourselves when we compare ourselves to others.

I can't make it on my own.
I'm afraid to be alone.
I don't make as much money as she does.
I have to show the world that I am better.

Better = more, bigger, better, nicer, more expensive, MORE.

So how do you let go of those feelings that cripple you. I've heard people say "Just get over it." That seems a bit cruel. These feelings go down deep and shake the very core of who you are. If it was that simple, there would be no problems.

The answer is a little deeper. Christ shows us in his life. You see, His purpose for coming here to earth was not about Him. "The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve others." He wasn't put first. It was about us. He wasn't thinking of His own accomplishments, He put others before Himself. We have to learn to take ourselves out of the mix. I will repeat the opening line in one of my favorite books, The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. "It's not about you."

If we can stop dwelling on all of our failures and downfalls, then we can start to get past them. Don't think about how you see yourself, or how others see you. Think about how Christ sees you. Life will take on a whole new meaning.

If we can stop seeing ourselves through the judgmental eyes of others, then we can truly begin to see what our real value is. Because, truthfully, all insecurity really is, is the judgment of others imposed on us. Judgment is God's and God's alone. People have NO RIGHT to do that to each other.

Christ came to live (and die) for us. If you can turn things around and live for Him, then you will find true value and purpose in your life.

Pick up a copy of this book. It will change your life. (No, I get no kick-backs - but I wish I did!)

The Purpose Driven Life. by Rick Warren

Have this blog delivered right to your Kindle!

Tweet me @LorettaLea
#jclc
#JesusChristLifeCoach
#JesusIsMyLifeCoach

Re-Inventing the Impossible
~Lori
Loretta Sinclair
www.SinclairInkSpot.com

Jesus is my Life Coach!

Withdraw to Serenity...

8/20/2014

There is something truly blessed about the Sierra Nevada Mountains surrounding Lake Tahoe. Its beauty and magesty are astounding. It leaves me speechless just to look upon the beauty of the glistening Topaz color of the water on a clear day.

I am here for a week now staying atop the gorgeous Heavenly Valley. I don't think the name is any accident. I have come to relax, rejuvenate, and to spend some time alone with God - something I get way to little of at home.

Christ is our example in this. When he was stressed, he withdrew from the crowds to pray. He chose to spend time alone with God.

<<Previous

Conflict or Chaos?

Why Does a Good God Allow Hurt in the World?

Mementos of Murder

Toxic People. Good Quote.

Hatred is de-humanizing...

Shadow People...

Persecutors...

The Un-Perfectionist

Overcoming Insecurity...

Withdraw to Serenity...

Loretta Sinclair

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